Cringey and Vomit-Inducing Posts from LinkedIn That Make the Corporate Ladder Look Like Hell

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2022 1:00 PM EDT

Over the years, the average Memebase visitor has probably come to the conclusion that this website is not a fan of the corporate grind. We really don't know where to start when it comes to the things we hate about it. From the overbearing bosses, to the annoying email speak, to the annoying co-workers you have to talk to every day without completely losing the will to live, it is hard to find one single aspect of the office to feel good about. 

In essence, we are the antithesis of LinkedIn. That place seems to exist in an alternate universe where everyone is constantly getting promoted or sharing invaluable life lessons to help this happen, with a side order of insufferable inspirational speeches. Some users seem to have no self-awareness when it comes to shilling themselves, but at least they set an example of what not to do when we're trying to do well at our jobs without getting laughed at. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - SURREAL SURKEAL 6,025 followers 3h. WE'VE GOT A FINE + Follow We need to come clean and announce that we've gone and got ourselves a fine. There are many reasons businesses get fines, from health and safety to data protection. For us, it's our hiring policies. We've tried to only recruit the best and brightest - and that has led to us getting a fine. A whopping, great fine. The one and only Charlotte Fine. They don't come any finer than her. Welcome aboard, Charlotte. We're sure you'
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 02
    Organism - D'ya fancy meeting up or doing a zoom? In the old days, I would jump in the car or fire up the helicopter and turn up anywhere in the UK. Now, it's all different. Everyone wants to zoom to save time and money. I've saved about £20,000 so far by using zoom, yet, I still get upset when the subscription is paid out each month. Odd. Would you sooner meet face to face or zoom? #zoom C6 20 22 comments
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 03
    Font - ech Things I didn't think would ever happen in job interviews: "You're too modest and honest. I know people who, with a resume like yours, would present themselves very differently and make very different demands. But you should not be punished for your behaviour, nor do we reward show-offs here. Therefore, I will add a good extra to your salary request." Win-win, I would say. + Follow Although this experience was by far not the only reason that convinced me to sign the contract, it was s
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 04
    Font - Yesterday someone told me to "f*ck off" when I cold-called him. Old me would have felt sorry for annoying him. New me knows this guy could never do what I do. Getting insulted always feels personal, I know. But never think those people are in the right. Can't be right to yell at someone. #sales #saas #coldcalling 20 539 Like Like Comment . 189 comments de 5 Share + Follow progress, Version 3.2.8 (... Seriously.....I'd have called the guy back and asked him outside. Someone once had to cal
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 05
    Font - The worst thing about the Crying CEO? The Crying. In Public. Men don't cry - Period. And if they have to, they do it privately. Keep it to themselves. It's our role to lead the family, the business, the clan. You need to be strong even if you don't feel like it. You won't always live up to this high standard. But it's an ideal worth holding up. So stop snivelling like a little boy and grow a pair. #MenDontCry CE 212 809 comments Now ● 9 shares
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 06
    Rectangle - mited This made me remember the last time I stopped applying for jobs because I was once told I know too much hence I can't be employed. That day I challenged myself to create a better life worth more than a job. By the Grace of God I started and completed my masters in London, all payment made by my creation of wealth and today I worth figures that a lot of senior oil workers will be dreaming to have. This is for those life has challenged, you can be stretched beyond maximum to obta
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 07
    Font - Freelance / Interim 1w Edited Talk about letting me down gently !!!!! ITP (International Talent Partnership) You haven't connected with. Like CEO 77 2nd Director International Talent Partnership Regards TODAY er 9:33 am Please do not apply for any of our advertised vacancies. I reviewed your application for our Project Director job and I am astounded you thought you had the relevant experience as described in the advert. Comment + Follow + Share 8+ 58 comments • 3 shares Send
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 08
    Gesture - When the prospect says Say ack F 17h- "I'm really not interested I've got to go" Go on.... "Can I ask you one last question before you go" ting Ltd - Getting your business infr... Say "Erm, why do you ask that?" "If you had a choice between reading the bible or the Cat in the Tat, what would you choose?" + Follow "Sally was right about you. Thanks for your time" This shows dominance and authority whilst stunning the prospect into a confusion The next time someone cold calls them they'l
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 09
    Organism - ollow Candidates are getting lazy People just aren't putting in the effort to go after their dream jobs - or any jobs. They've been offered 10 opportunities in the past year, so the attitude I'm still seeing with a lot of candidates is, "tell me what you can do for me." #sales #hiring #lifesciences 6 380 518 comments • 16 shares
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 10
    Product - Posts CEO and Co-Founder | EG 2w d Like When people ask me what my exit strategy is for EG, I reply: "A coffin. Until then, I intend to keep growing myself, growing our team and growing our mission." + Follow Exit strategies are redundant if you love what you do. CC 214 11 comments Comment Share : Send
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 11
    Font - Follow During the weekend three young lads knocked at my door They called themselves "The rubbish removers" They told me they could clean up my garden every week and take the bins out As I work in sales I was hugely intrigued I asked if they'd approached the whole neighbourhood and they said that only 4 out of 80 homes had agreed. I decided to give them a chance after haggling the price I then invited the lads in and gave them some free coaching and mentorship We went back to the 76 homes
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 12
    Font - I dumped a jar of pickled onions on my sister. During her 30th birthday party. And she reeked for the rest of the night. I'm not entirely sure I've been forgiven to this day. I can't lie, I've been nervous about posting this. But I'm dying to get this weight off my chest. I've been sitting on LinkedIn campaigning for women's rights and gender equality, while this story has plagued my brain. "Sure you empower women now Danny, but what about the pickle debacle?" "You let your sister wander
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 13
    Font - A) winning $1.2b in the lottery or B) 100,000 LinkedIn followers I'm choosing option B every time. Never underestimate the power of having a personal brand online. 236 157 ... 745
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 14
    Font - Comments Like Most relevant C ys My young son once asked me about whether god was real. After spending some time explaining some different views on this, I asked him what he thought. He said "well if she was real, then...." I didn't care about the rest of the sentence, I was just so pleased that he thought of god as a woman instead of the usual picture of a man! I love that your daughter sees football as a woman's sport! Reply 2nd 18h
    via StateOfLinkedIn
  • 15
    Font - My children pitched monday.com to me yesterday. Daughter, age 12: "Do you use monday? You should." Me: "What?" Daughter: "Yes its for... doing stuff, being organised, scheduling, tasks, that sort of thing." Me: "Who is it for?" Daughter: ".... work people??" Son, age 8: "Yeh yeh yeh and it means you don't have to use... Microsoft... that table... green thing?" Consider the brand equity being built by these confident YouTube advertisers with the digitally-native generations. #genZmarketing
    via StateOfLinkedIn

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job work cringe bragging linkedin social media business
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